Thursday, August 23, 2012

TED - MY CONVERSATIONS





  • 23 hours ago: Times have changed, but I have seen many a long distance relationships work perfectly well. Those who go out in search of livelihood to distant lands- immigrants males maintain a very healthy long distance relationship. The dream of a good future for their spouse and children keep them motivated. Migrant workers return home after 2 years and have succeeded in raising a a very happy and contented families.
    Now to come to your question. The top 5 problems that couple face with long distant relationship.
    1. Not accepting the situation that one has voluntary entered into. If a situation develops to live apart after living together, one can empathize, but here also if both the partners accept what is, the problem will be eased a bit.
    2. Affluence. Contradictory but true. With affluence and materialistic mind set not 5 but a hundred problems arise.
    3. Doubting nature - lack of faith.
    4. 21st century gadgetry. With profusion of internet and 24x7 connectivity both partners tend to rant and take out their frustrations - the space gets restricted and flash points are more frequent. In the good old days when one depended on monthly mails these problems were not there. Each found ways to take control of their individual life, and in many 3rd world countries, strong family ties and other community factors provided the much needed balm in times of difficulty.
    5.Lack of preparedness if both the partners know that they are entering into a long distance relationship.
    I personally saw my first born after 7 months. Now days young fathers get all hyper if they are unable to be at the bedside when their wives are going under labor.
    After one or two days they go off and than starts the fun of continues distant monitoring - nothing can be done, but frustration and anxiety pile up. I keep myself amused with such frequent real life situations now days.
  • A comment onConversation: Can the simple fact of observation affect the outcome of an event? http://www.princeton.edu/~pear/experiments.html

    1 day ago: Scientifically I do not know. Your experiment if verified and authenticated by your peers, has proved that observation does affect the outcome of the event. Spiritually I know that observation does effect the outcome of the event. Intense observation and channelizing of thoughts are known to have affected the outcome of the event, more specifically a condition.
    On a lighter note, observation does affect the outcome of an event. An observing parent can affect the outcome of his/her unruly child !!
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    A comment onConversation: Should Science be Considered a Religion?

    1 day ago: Pray what is the need for Science to be considered a Religion. What real benefits will accrue ? Personally I feel Science and Religion are complimentary to each other, and in recent years with rapid advancement in Science, the Religion concepts and Principles are better understood. Religion and Science are the two oars needed to propel our life boat towards understanding of the TRUTH
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    A comment onConversation: How to solve youths problems ?

    May 30 2012: At micro level - family level one way to solve youth problem is by compassion, connecting, understanding and becoming a role model and giving leeway and being patient and not demanding. Initially the senior may feel that he/she is being taken for a ride, but the positive character traits in due course will bring a turnaround.
  • A reply onConversation: How has enduring some extreme hardship profoundly impacted your life?

    May 15 2012: Dear Lindsay
    thank you for your radiant blessings and heartfelt comment
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    A comment onConversation: How has enduring some extreme hardship profoundly impacted your life?

    May 10 2012: Loosing 2 boys aged 3 months and 2 months to neurological disorder in the space of 3 years and at the time we were starting a family, had a profound impact on my life. God why us ? was the question that assailed me as I was a helpless witness to the suffering and aggressive medical treatment of my boys and our mental agony.

    However, in their death which was not in vain I have enriched myself in many ways in the years that followed. Empathy - Spirituality - reaching out - accepting 'what 'is' - understanding - contemplation in short become more humane is what my boys have gifted me. Their deaths and our mental suffering and agony has profoundly impacted my life. I can feel and empathize with the suffering of others.

    I have also learnt to soldier on and undertake social service with passion. My story LUCY ME will help in understanding what my 2 boys have contributed to my life. It is in respect of the community eating initiative started by our Spiritual Head.
    http://asgarf.blogspot.in/2011/09/faiz-ul-mawaid-burhaniyah.html
  • A comment onConversation: When we think we have no options, can we change our perception? Does having options make us happier?

    May 8 2012: 1. Obviously, who will not like to have choices.
    2. Such situations itself will make you helpless, and under such pressing circumstances, it is better to accept WHAT IS - the PRESENT - LET GO. All these are the choices in a sense, to accept ones fate. It can never create happiness - now that is a long shot, but surely it can infuse one with peace and calmness. As sages put it - 'to die consciously before death'
    3. Definitely. See the world around you and the countless unhappy people, ever growing because of multiple choices.
    4. Yes
    5.Primarily ones own, he/she has to be willing to learn. Seek out sages and savants and put his/her belief in their teachings .It may help.
    6. Yes would like to give a try, but not be aggressive. not a hammer and tong approach, but think it as challenge, see if something can be learnt. If the circumstances do not change, change the perspective.
    7. I do not understand what is meant by economic of happiness, but this much I know happiness is separate from the economics of things consumerism, which does not give happiness but short term pleasure. Pleasure and gratification are not happiness.
  • A comment onConversation: What are your questions about the new TED-Ed website? Conversation with TED-Ed staff!

    May 3 2012: Ted - Ed is indeed a very exiting initiative with great potential and far reaching benefits. I tried to search for a video I had uploaded in My You Tube Account (it is not Public, but only those with the link can access) but could not get the search result. I tried to copy paste the link in the search box, but it did not work. Please guide. Thanks.
  • A comment onConversation: What do you think about the term "fitting in" at school, work, or an outing somewhere?

    Apr 28 2012: Agreed. To make the two exclusive things all inclusive in all our dealings means ' Fitting in' :))
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    A comment onConversation: What do you think about the term "fitting in" at school, work, or an outing somewhere?

    Apr 26 2012: 'Fitting in' is an art of not ruffling feathers and at the same time not compromising your individuality.
  • A comment onConversation: How will TEDx change the world?

    Apr 20 2012: I do not know how TEDx will change the world, but surely it is changing me to think and reflect and share my thoughts in my blog. If high expectations are not made, the small ripples will surely turn into a refreshing stream of wisdom (not merely information)

    http://mindmints.blogspot.in/2011/12/thoughts-on-thali.html

    http://mindmints.blogspot.in/2012/03/ted-talks.html

    Excerpt from my blog.

    'How I wish that in near future, some one like Jamie Oliver will show the world, on TED Talk platform, or any other world wide forum, the immense health benefits of the 'Thali' initiative of the Bohra Community.'
    Each day around the world our Community is serving ' simple, nutritious food' to most of the community households either lunch or dinner.
    In my city Kolkata 100 % target has been achieved, that is each dinner at more than 1000 plus house hold is same. It is not charity, every one according to his financial standing and his faith in the 'project' contributes, and in a central kitchen, food is cooked and volunteers help in distribution and managing the kitchen etc:
    Thus Ted Talk helps.
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    A comment onTalk: Laura Carstensen: Older people are happier

    Apr 20 2012: This talk is primarily based on US data and studies, however, through out the world it is observed that happy are those old aged, who accept stoically their condition, what ever it may be. Accepting 'what is' comes more naturally to old people than youngsters and middle age, who are willing to put up a fight.

    Acceptance is a THANK YOU PAY CHECK that life gives to the elderly, who have lived a full filled life in their youth and middle age, reaching out to people etc: Those who in their growing up years are selfish, egoistic and having negative traits, find old age very problematic, and suffer is my personal observation.
  • A comment onConversation: How does virtuality translate into reality?

    Apr 10 2012: I am reading a Book by Chunyi Lin entitled 'Born A Healer - Spring Forest Qigong. In the beginning of the book he tells the reader to participate in a small game. I personally found that by thought inference, the size of my left hand fingers which were a wee too small, when I placed my two hands together, and after I raised both my hands, closed my eyes, raised both my hands, and for less than a minute I repeated in my mind a few times, that my left hand fingers are growing, I found that when I put my two hands together, indeed, at that period of time, the fingers that were a wee bit small had overtaken the right hand finger.
    It is just a game, but it proves that thoughts which are a virtual translate into reality.
    Just yesterday saw an interesting You Tube video video on the same subject
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufVjdvRw4LM&sns=em
  • A comment onConversation: What is the 1 Question you'd ask or Idea you'd share with the TED Team ?

    Apr 4 2012: Your question has nudged me to imagine. The most talented TEDx organizers on the planet will be gathering at Doha - Qatar (Arab country) and Sartaj is the fortunate few to attend. If you can ask on my behalf the question.
    Can TED forum give a thought to implement QARDAN HASANAH (GOOD LOAN WITHOUT INTEREST) ?
    This concept is being implemented by the Bohra Community.
    http://www.burhaniqardan.org/
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    A comment onConversation: What we can learn from babies?

    Apr 2 2012: To smile, to cry and not to keep our mask on and suppress our feelings !!
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    A comment onConversation: How have you benefited from TED?

    Apr 2 2012: For a senior like me TED is a boon, as I can catch up with all that I had missed during my growing up years. I can reflect , become aware, educate my self and with growing age and resulting maturity, not get too carried away.
  • A comment onTalk: Peter Saul: Letâ��s talk about dying

    Mar 26 2012: Quote:' Death is but a dropping of the flower, so that the fruit may swell' If the terminally ill have faith in this one quote, I think facing death head on will be more beneficial to the patient and family members. Dr. Saul in his wonderful talk has proved the point, that intensive medical therapy does not save life - it is not life saving' , it merely prolongs people's life, it delays death and re-directs death, in the end the quality of life, after undergoing all the physical suffering and mental agony and the financial cost, the inevitable happens.

    So under the circumstances I feel it is better to inject some spiritual dose, in what ever form comfortable with the patient and his family to brace for the inevitable. Just 2 weeks back a 42 year old, diagnosed with advance cancer, having 3 small kids and the sole earning member of the family, found the courage and awareness in the words of a sage poet : ' If you really understand - death is the key to unlock life. In truth it is the womb that gives birth to everlasting life' Syedi Sadikali Saheb. Surat (India)

    After 3 days of his discharge from the hospital, death came ( for him everlasting life ) at night, when he called his wife and died in her arms. His family members in the meantime, told him that his children and wife, will be taken care of, and I found that his last days were peaceful.
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    A comment onConversation: What is your favourite quote and why?

    Mar 12 2012: 'As above, so below. As within, so without' Found engraved on an Emerald Tablet circa 3000 B.C. As I started to reflect and understand and grow spiritually, the truth of the quote became evident. In the past the 'awakened' understood and comprehended in a few words.
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    A comment onConversation: How does life/death manifest itself in the human brain? Is brain death the ultimate end stage of life?

    Mar 12 2012: Veronica, agreed that the legal definition of death is medical, not spiritual, but the irony is that till society finds a way to reconcile the two, many hapless terminally ill will continue to suffer, between the 'medical end' which will not 'let go' unless conclusively proved and the 'spiritual end' which teaches one 'to let go' accept 'what is' and end sufferings.
    I have been observing this phenomena for many years in my own small circle. Just recently a young friend aged 42 years diagnosed with advance colon cancer died at home amongst his loved ones, after taking a decision, saying 'no' to aggressive medical therapy and rising medical cost, which he could not afford.
    On the 3rd day after coming to terms with his condition, 'letting go' he died a peaceful death, thereby ending the inevitable, which would have prolonged his misery and that of his loved ones.
    Personally I feel all hospitals, particularly those attached with renowned medical colleges, should have a dedicated wing for terminally ill patients, who and their families agree not to go for further aggressive medical treatment, but undergo treatment to curb pain and other related symptoms, and be treated by FAITH so to say. These patients should be closely monitored , and I feel medical science will find many insights and revelations.
  • A comment onConversation: How does life/death manifest itself in the human brain? Is brain death the ultimate end stage of life?

    Mar 9 2012: Brain dead means a 'vegetative state' but it is a 'state' depending upon the patients medical condition. So there is a connection but if you take SOUL into consideration, a firm connection between life and death is established. Brain dead is a medical condition, so it should be termed as such, is what I personally understand.
  • A comment onConversation: What is happiness?

    Mar 8 2012: I had commented earlier, and would like to share my take on HAPPINESS
    http://www.hikmaah.com/showartcl.asp?article=23
  • A comment onConversation: What one question, which you have never been asked, would have the biggest impact on your future?

    Mar 6 2012: Is this world your permanent abode ?
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    A comment onConversation: What is happiness?

    Mar 6 2012: It is a state of being - which is felt and experienced - a manifestation but not necessary of hard work - it can be for a number of reasons, like contentment, accepting 'what is' . surrender etc: etc:
  • A comment onConversation: What is happiness?

    Mar 2 2012: Scientifically established - 50% of HAPPINESS is a direct result of our DNA - 10 % as a result of wealth and health ( now that is a shocker !!) and the remaining 40% as a result of attitude, upbringing etc: in short uncharted.
    http://www.hikmaah.com/showartcl.asp?article=23

    'khidmat' means Social Service
  • A comment onConversation: What makes an idea spread? Duration? Quality? Loudness?

    Feb 28 2012: Loudness at the onset, but in the long run the quality does help in the long run. One important factor is from where it originates ? If from the developed Nations, it spreads faster, people lap it up, and on second thought and on reflection they examine it, and here the quality counts for it to sustain for longer period.
  • A reply onConversation: Financing without Interest is an idea that has been implemented with success in our Community. Give it a try at least at personal level.

    Feb 18 2012: Test the idea for yourself and find out if there is any substance :)) Taking the case of financing meritorious students, I personally got an emotional high of having done a good deed, by reaching out. The savings which if kept in the Bank would have earned 'interest' was a pittance compared with what those who helped the students received as an emotional payback.
    The borrowers - the students felt the beatific emotions of gratitude and being encouraged and being appreciated. They would have approached the Bank, which would have financed their studies, charging them 'interest' but that would have not created a 'bonding' as in the case of getting 'interest free loan. A win win for both the 'lender' and the 'borrower' and the only looser here is the Bank.
    It is obvious that I do not like to bring Religion into this, as it would become a slang bang, as with many Ted Posts that I come across. 'Interest free' is an idea that I have personally found to be beneficial.
  • A comment onConversation: Financing without Interest is an idea that has been implemented with success in our Community. Give it a try at least at personal level.

    Feb 18 2012: Test the idea for yourself and find out if there is any substance :)) Taking the case of financing meritorious students, I personally got an emotional high of having done a good deed, by reaching out. The savings which if kept in the Bank would have earned 'interest' was a pittance compared with what those who helped the students received as an emotional payback.
    The borrowers - the students felt the beatific emotions of gratitude and being encouraged and being appreciated. They would have approached the Bank, which would have financed their studies, charging them 'interest' but that would have not created a 'bonding' as in the case of getting 'interest free loan. A win win for both the 'lender' and the 'borrower' and the only looser here is the Bank.
  • A reply onConversation: Financing without Interest is an idea that has been implemented with success in our Community. Give it a try at least at personal level.

    Feb 17 2012: Kriszian -It is indeed a surprise all those who get to know of the concept of 'interest free loan' The members of our own Community also did not at first understand how this concept of 'interest free' loans will work. Over the years it has become the norm of sorts, the surprise element has gone, as with all new ideas.
    There is a Trust which has a set of laws and rules and regulation in place, strictly adhered to. 'y' number of people contribute 'x' amount, and a corpus is created. The contributors agree to loan their money for a fix period of time, it is their 'saving' of sorts.
    From this corpus fund, the loans are distributed to those, who agree to abide by the rules and regulations, give tow sureties and pledge gold ornaments or any other 'title' deeds. These loans have to be repaid in equal monthly instalments, maximum 10 months. there are exceptions depending on the merit of the case.
    At individual level also such loans are given to people who are in need of funds, by those who know them personally and are sure of recovering the "Principal' amount on time. Every other thing is as it is with any Loan Transaction, the missing element is 'interest'
    I will not like to go into the topic of what immense benefits reaped by both the 'lender' and 'borrower' This much I can say. the test of the pudding is in its eating.
    Krisztian please give it a try at your personal level, if you have some savings and you know some one who needs some funds for his small business or for education purpose. At my level it took 4 years to see the fruits of my implementing this concept. 3 meritorious students have completed their studies and 2 of them have landed good jobs, and have started repaying the loans in monthly instalments. I personally term this initiative of mine as "Changing lives' I feel it has helped me a lot in becoming a better person.
  • A reply onConversation: The Culture of Want; the Now generation

    Feb 1 2012: Thanks Mary. Watched the video of Ramona Pierson and she was fortunate to have the investment of love and compassion of Senior Citizens. She was down and out and had no other option and she readily' gave in' and a miracle happened.
    But the problem is when I am on the materialistic high, good job, fat pay packet, options to leave one job and take another - this is the environment in which the present set is growing up I tend to assume that "I know all - I know what is best for me' and I go out with my upward mobile group. Previously at such group meetings, they had one punching bag - their boss, now increasingly they have one more - their parents and family members. The respect for them is lost, and replacements for them are easily available. Their love interests, which also keep changing provide, what in the past they parents were providing.
    I am amused, when I chance to interact with such set. Their January love interest is the most knowledgeable, most compassionate you name it. Come June the January one is a wimp, manipulative etc: etc:
    This is the cause of great concern and worry.
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    A reply onConversation: The Culture of Want; the Now generation

    Jan 31 2012: Kudos for your insight. Seeking instant gratification has become a bane and has far reaching consequences in the modern society. Changing I Phones is a lesser evil, but family bonds with has withstood for centuries are being discarded. With internet and profusion of portals which dish out all types of advices and solution of myriad of youth related problems, the youngsters are distancing themselves from the family, and seeking instant gratifications of their problems, getting encouragement and support by just a click.
    I have witnessed instances of a 20 year confiding in a a 25 year old, seeking his advice, having full faith in what he/she says etc: Family bonding and respecting the elders is one step up.
  • A comment onTalk: Brian Goldman: Doctors make mistakes. Can we talk about that?

    Jan 27 2012: A very candid path breaking talk, which will go a long way in redefining medical culture, and more important making better human beings of the medical fraternity. Agreed if every one taking a cue from Brian Goldman speaks about his mistakes, the faith on doctors, which is one of the integral part of speedy medical recovery, will be eroded, doing more harm than good.
    Let me share a personal story on how experts in medicine make mistakes that effect families. My father had heart problem, and breathlessness on account of enlarged heart glands. An X-Ray was done at home, was shown to him, he looked grave and concern on seeing the X Ray slides.
    Reffered us to a renowned Chest Specialist, regarded as one of the best in whole of Asia. We were elated when he agreed to come home in spite of his busy schedule. He comes home, sees the X R slides, stays and talks with my father, we feel there is nothing -. While dropping him back home, he confides to me that my father's case is serious, cancer has spread, he has to be admitted fast. It is a long story, We had a horrible nightmare.
    Now the real interesting part - on taking second medical opinion and doing a set of scans, it was found out that ON ACCOUNT OF POWER FLUCTUATION in the home taken X Ray, a shadow had appeared, which the expert doctor assumed was the sign of cancer spreading fast. My Dad lived long and healthy for another 18 years. He had other medical problems but not the one diagnosed by the EXPERT !!
    The fun part is after the Expert has diagnosed, and we told our heart specialist about what the expert has found out, he nodded his head gravely and said to us that he was also fearing the same, and now it has been confirmed, and advised us to immediately admit him in Tata Cancer Research Hospital. - Mumbai as their are no good Cancer hospitals in our city !!
  • A comment onConversation: Why do we chase happiness?

    Jan 22 2012: My pleasure
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    A reply onConversation: Why are there so many religions with distinctive rules when there is only one god?

    Jan 22 2012: Nice one ! Come into my parlour said the spider to the fly ! No way Sir. I refuse to take the bait, come into the ring and get all bruised up !! I made a point London is superfluous
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    A comment onConversation: Why are there so many religions with distinctive rules when there is only one god?

    Jan 22 2012: London is one city but there are numerous ways to reach it - London is one :)) Some take the dirt tracks, some the fast lanes, and some simply jet in. The problem arises when the fellow who takes the dirt road to London says, 'he knows best' the fast lane chap feels the dirt track traveller is a 'fool' and it goes on and on .... An 'awakened' soul keeps his cool, and does not argue because he knows for sure that all of them are journeying towards LONDON and sooner or later, they will reach it and will be better with the experience gained.
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    A comment onConversation: Why do we chase happiness?

    Jan 22 2012: True the majority of us chase happiness, but in the end are we happy or not is a different story, but yes we do chase happiness. The reason is we feel incomplete, there is a sense of lack.But few are 'awakened' souls who are happy, they accept the 'isness' of life, they feel contented, they do not chase happiness, they are happiness personified.
  • A reply onConversation: Religious Bridge

    Dec 17 2011: Thanks. I believe each though complete in it self in that particular time evolved further incorporating the truths of the previous. In the example, what was required for the baby in the 4th month was all there, in the 5th month it develops further. So it is relationship with each other, the common binding thread in ONENESS.
    Dalia I do not like to impose or propagate my views, then it becomes messy, and the entire purpose is lost. Each one has to make their own call. The intrinsic purpose of all religion is to help in the evolution of humans into angelic beings. If any one who believes in the ONENESS - you may name it GOD - ALLAH - BEING whatever and follows their religious not dogmatic, but spiritual inherent teaching of their particular religion, believe me, that person is on his way, it may take eons, but he/she will finally be there.
    If you feel interested you may log on to my home page www.hikmaah.com and although it is a particular faith and belief system based, you may find some nuggets of truth. In the shaitan ppxs I have tried to understand how Satan evolved, you can skip a few slides will be difficult to follow, none the less some may surely give you an insight
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    A comment onConversation: Religious Bridge

    Dec 16 2011: The three major religions according to me are complimentary to each other. Like a baby growing up to full term in the mother's womb. With each progressing month it is complete and formed in relation to that particular month, in the next month, it includes the development of the previous month, and it develops further, until it reaches full term.

    I refrain from elaborating further, for the fear of being misunderstood, but this is what I have understood. Take it or leave it.
  • A comment onConversation: Who do you consider "Rich?"

    Dec 11 2011: A satisfied and contended individual in rich. I have come across many who are low income earners and having less net worth, but they are so self worth, they make the rich envy their life style.
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    A comment onConversation: Isn't it ironic that in order to be free and successful at anything in life, you first have to put yourself in prison?

    Dec 3 2011: It did make a sense to me. Confinement helps a person to reflect and depending upon his mental set up, when released he comes out as a better human being. Just read a News report on A. Raja the telecom Minister and prime accused in 2G scandal, who has insisted that he would seek bail only after all other accused with him are set free. According to him after comforts as Minister - jail has brought parity now. There many thousands of such stories, this is just one that I read in today's News Paper.

    This is actual prison for the wrong does, but for our betterment and growth, we can create our own prison, we can confine our selves within some set and proven parameters, whose benefits have been established, and work with due diligence and focus. This will greatly help and at the same time like a fortress, protect us and our endeavor from negative influences.

    When the sage Diogenes was overpowered by some ruffians and bought to the slave market to be sold, he walked ahead with such demeanor, that one who did not know thought that he was the 'master' and his captives were the slaves brought to be sold.

    For me personally this 'life' is prison, but a good one where if I do my best, in spite of all the obstacles, if I am honest with myself, one day I will be handed the 'key' to my freedom (death) and I will be for ever free, of which I am sure, but all the same I will wishfully think of 'my time' well spent in the confinement.
  • A comment onTalk: Steve Jobs: How to live before you die

    Dec 1 2011: Most inspiring 3 stories from an awe inspiring entrepreneur, whose legacy will live for ever.
    01. Following your heart, your passion and believing that the dots, in your life will connect in future.
    02.Keep looking - don't settle - you will surely find it.
    03.Stay hungry - stay foolish.
    Death is a destination - it is life changing.
    'Death if one understands, is the key to unlock the door
    In truth it is the birth of everlasting life' Syedi Sadikali Saheb
    With what he has given to this modern world of ours, surely in this 'birth' Steve Jobs, unlike his previous birth, when he felt 'unwanted' will be the most cherished and desired soul !!
  • A comment onTalk: Annie Murphy Paul: What we learn before we're born

    Dec 1 2011: A very engrossing talk indeed. The cutting edge scientific technology is proving many of the old granny wisdom. As our community is encouraging, simple basic food sharing program, covering different economic strata of society, it was interesting to note and learn about how food taken by the pregnant mother directly has a bearing on the growth of the child in the womb. The scientific data of pregnant mothers in World War II was very revealing.

    So simple basic food taken by pregnant mothers go a long way in helping develop more resistant babies. Is my thinking right or flawed ?