When we become parents, we are entrusted with a sacred responsibility — but not the one we often assume. We are not engineers, designing and assembling every detail of our child’s personality. We are shepherds, gently guiding a soul that already carries within it a unique blueprint — a mix of inherited traits, temperament, and divine potential.
An engineer worries about precision: every nut, bolt, and circuit must be placed exactly right. A shepherd, however, tends patiently: he provides pasture, water, and safety from predators. He does not dictate how each sheep must graze or in which direction it must leap. He trusts the flock’s natural instinct, intervening only when danger looms.
Our children are not projects. They are not blank slates for us to design in our image. They carry the fragrance of our ancestry and the spark of their Creator. Our job is to create a healthy, nurturing environment — a home where trust and love thrive, where curiosity is encouraged, where faith is alive and breathing.
Recent research in developmental psychology supports this analogy. Studies show that when parents encourage autonomy — letting children make choices, explore, and even fail safely — children grow up with stronger motivation, better emotional health, and greater resilience. On the other hand, overly controlling or “helicopter” parenting is linked with more anxiety, lower confidence, and weaker coping skills. In other words, children flourish when we shepherd them with care and guidance, not when we try to engineer their every step.
Yes, there will be times when we feel anxious: Am I doing enough? Am I doing it right? But we must resist the urge to control every outcome. Fretting and fuming will not make a plant grow faster. Rather, let us relax, observe, and marvel at the miracle of our child’s becoming.
Above all, let us pray:
That our children stay on Sirat-e-Mustaqeem,
That their hearts throb with the love of Ahl al-Bayt (SA),
That their souls remain tethered to the guidance of Aqa Moula Mufaddal Saifuddin (TUS),
For in this connection lies their true flourishing.
Parenting, then, becomes less about control and more about faith — faith that Allah’s design is perfect, and that with our care and prayers, this little soul will find its way to light.
Dua ni iltemas
“What do you think it means to be a shepherd parent?”
“How do you pray for your children daily?”
Please share your views in the comment section, so that young parents of the community can benefit
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